Dear China,

Thank you for creating tofu. It is healthy and delicious, you can put it in nearly everything, and you do such delicious things with it here in your country. So why, oh why, have you felt the need to defile it in the most horrifying of ways? I am referring to the nearly unspeakable tragedy that is - stinky tofu. Stinky tofu, is just that- stinky. No other way to put it. Sold in restaurants, on street corners, nearly anywhere you go, from blocks away you can catch a whiff of its scent. Once explained to me as tofu somewhere along the fermentation process, the delicious smell is due to some form of bacteria that has recently taken up residence, producing a smell similar to that of roadkill, but worse. Yes, I have attempted to eat it, back when I was naive and silly and believed a kind-hearted Chinese man who attempted to convince me and and a friend that stinky tofu is not nearly as bad as it smells. This is a lie. It is just as bad as it smells. No matter how many friendly Chinese people attempt to convince you otherwise, do not be fooled.

Now, usually I choose to simply avoid this food product. But today, in and unfortunate incident, a restaurant I frequent decided to change its menu, so there is no longer a picture of my favorite tofu dish. How am I supposed to order it without the picture? So with hand gestures and saying the word "tofu, tofu" over and over again, I thought maybe the waitress understood what I was going for. Turns out she did not. I do not blame her for the events that transpired, she was patient and kind and did the very best she could with this ridiculous laowai (foreigner) who can't even say the name of the dish she wanted. However, instead of my delicious onion, pepper tofu dish, I was given- you guessed it- stinky tofu. While not nearly as stinky as some, it definitely still had the scent, strong enough to bring back flashbacks from the fateful day when a good intentioned young Chinese man convinced me to try some stinky tofu...

So in conclusion, I am sorry China. I try to be a kind person, I can forgive a lot, but I don't know if I will ever forgive you for creating the monstrosity that is stinky tofu.

Sincerely,
Anna